If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “We’ve done everything right—so why does it still feel like something’s missing?” you’re not alone.
In a recent Mission Matters podcast conversation, host Adam Torres spoke with Todd Rustman—wealth manager and author of Memory Royalties: The Missing Link in Your Wealth Management. Their discussion lands on a truth many families sense but don’t always have language for: We can spend a lifetime building resources, and still forget to build the parts of life that make those resources meaningful.
Todd said it simply: “We don’t go to the celebration of a Todd’s money at time of death. We go to celebration of the life. The life consists of memory.”
That idea is more than inspiring—it’s clarifying. Because when you step back and look at what your family will actually remember, it’s rarely the account balance. It’s the moments. The lessons. The time.
Below are a few reflections from the conversation—along with practical ways to bring this thinking into your own plan.
Watch the Full Interview on YouTube
What “memory royalties” really means
We’re used to talking about “returns” in financial terms. Interest. Growth. Income. Performance.
“Memory royalties” is a different kind of return: experiences and shared moments that keep paying you back—through connection, perspective, and the stories your family repeats for years.
Todd’s point is especially relevant today because life has a way of changing the role our possessions play. He described how, during COVID, extra “assets” such as second homes, planes, or boats could quickly feel like liabilities—more upkeep, more complexity, more obligation.
That doesn’t mean those things are automatically bad. It just means we should be honest about the difference between:
- things that expand your life, and
- things that quietly start to weigh on it.
Memories tend to work differently. They don’t require maintenance. They don’t create clutter. And they often become more valuable with time.
The missing link: a plan with math and meaning
Most families already understand the “responsible” basics:
- Save consistently
- Invest thoughtfully
- Manage risk
- Keep an eye on taxes
- Protect what you’ve built
A traditional financial plan can do a strong job with the numbers.
But Todd’s message—and what many people feel in their gut—is that the numbers are not the whole story.
A plan also needs to address questions like:
- What are we working so hard for?
- What do we want our time to look like in the next season of life?
- What do we want our children and grandchildren to carry forward?
Without those questions, it’s easy to drift into postponing. One more year. One more promotion. One more market cycle. One more “we’ll do it later.”
And then later gets smaller.
Retirement is changing—and the emotional side matters
Adam raised an important point in the interview: longevity assumptions have shifted. Many people are living longer—and living better for longer.
Todd agreed and offered a perspective that resonates with a lot of households today: retirement is less of an “off switch” and more of a redesign.
For many people, that redesign looks like semi-retirement—a more flexible rhythm that might include meaningful work, consulting, mentoring, volunteering, or simply staying engaged in ways that feel purposeful.
That matters not only financially—but emotionally.
Because one of the most under-discussed retirement risks isn’t market volatility. It’s losing structure, identity, or direction.
You can have enough money and still feel unsteady if your days don’t have meaning.
A gentle but firm warning: entitlement can shut down learning
One of the most thought-provoking parts of the conversation was Todd’s discussion of “deserve”—and how entitlement can quietly block growth.
His point wasn’t harsh; it was realistic. As life changes faster (technology, work, healthcare, family dynamics), the ability to keep learning is a real advantage.
Todd framed mistakes as “tuition.” The goal isn’t to never make mistakes. It’s to learn from them so you don’t keep paying for the same lesson twice.
For families thinking about legacy, this also has a generational angle:
If wealth transfers without financial literacy, values, and context, it can create confusion—or even tension. But when families talk openly about what money represents, what it’s meant to support, and what the family stands for, wealth can become a stabilizing force rather than a dividing one.
Practical ways to apply this: build “memory planning” into your financial life
If this idea of memory royalties resonates, you don’t need a dramatic life overhaul. You need a few intentional choices. Below are some practical starting points you can consider.
1) Create a simple “memory budget”
This is an amount you intentionally allocate each year for experiences that matter.
Not leftover money. Not guilt spending. A planned line item.
Examples might include:
- an annual family trip designed around togetherness (not luxury)
- a multi-generation tradition you repeat every year
- a shared learning goal (classes, coaching, or a hobby you do with someone you love)
- a meaningful milestone experience (a heritage trip, a reunion, or a special celebration)
The goal is consistency. Small, repeatable experiences often shape family culture more than one big event.
2) Pair experiences with values
If you want an experience to become part of your legacy, attach meaning:
- Why are we doing this?
- What do we want our kids/grandkids to learn here?
- What do we want to remember about this season?
That’s what turns an event into a tradition—and a tradition into identity.
3) Pressure-test the plan so you can enjoy it without anxiety
Enjoyment is hard when you’re worried you’re making a mistake.
So it’s worth doing the practical work:
- Are you spending within a sustainable range?
- Are taxes being considered, not ignored?
- Is your plan resilient if markets are weak early in retirement?
- Do you have the right liquidity for surprises?
This is the part where a good financial plan can buy you peace of mind—so you can fully live the life you’re planning for.
4) Capture stories while you can
Your family may not remember every detail of your financial strategy.
They’ll remember stories.
Consider:
- writing a short family letter about your values and hopes
- recording a few stories from grandparents (or yourself)
- documenting “why we give” if philanthropy is important to you
These aren’t complicated projects—but they can be priceless.
If there’s a single thread in Todd Rustman’s message, it’s this: wealth is most powerful when it supports a life that feels connected and intentional.
You don’t have to choose between protecting your future and enjoying the present. The right plan should do both: build stability, reduce avoidable risk, and create space for what matters most.
If you’d like, we can look at your current plan through this lens—cash flow, taxes, retirement timeline, and also the “memory royalties” you want your wealth to support. You deserve a strategy that’s financially sound and personally meaningful.